Today, I finally, after years, ever since Jr. high….
I finally got to go to an optometrist and to top it off, I was allowed to get glasses.
Double on that, the glasses were going to cost a good hundred+, 129, but on the same day, we could get it for much less. Mother somehow had 65 bucks on hand, and then, I picked out frames.
My mom somehow kept mixing them up as display = purchase because they’re readily. That’s not how glasses work, I had to explain. It needed to be cut, because these are real honest to goodness, seeing eye glasses.
Now, none of that, important.
The biggest important part is, when he got temporary glasses for me to try on.
What I’ve seen was the attention to detail I miss, things I used to see as a child…
The detail of the leaves of the trees outside the building, the McDonald and Taco Bell sign across the street, I could read every type of text, and see all the vivid colors of this world, the doc joked about now I can see how ugly the world is, but ironically that is indeed true.
He’s a great guy and his first name’s Derek. We talked a fair bit, and he’s very talkative, made the process smooth, easy, and guided me through the process swiftly.
He ended up surprised at my case because of how old I am and that it’s not often he ends up helping someone like that out.
Unfortunately, there is a big problem.
I have to wait for roughly 2 weeks, less, if I’m really lucky.
But, god damn. I was suffering from crippling depression because of numerous things for the past two days.
But this? This is life changing. I can see the details I admire, I can see what I’ve always wanted to see, I can LIVE. Soon enough, done are the days where I have to see blurs. I can actually see the details of people, and can even notice who and what they are clearly with that vision.
I honestly can’t wait, I’m actually excited. You don’t want to see a big, bald, bearded guy excited and giddy.
I even almost cried a little because of how happy/excited I was.
For years, ever since Jr. high, I’ve been waiting for this day. To get glasses.
What does this mean? I can legally drive, I can actually order and buy things and see what I’m doing.
I can’t wait!
I was actually expecting dilation and the usual you hear about with glasses, but apparently, my eyes are just plain bad.
What does this mean?
A bat has been providing art this whole time.
I can’t wait to draw with actual eyes.
Before putting them on, he kept warning me that this would be a one of a kind experience. He talked to me and told me what’d happen, and… it was just.. so… wow.
I stood in front of the door looking outside, where he told me where to look at first, then told me to spend a few minutes looking around, allowing me to explore and look around the world I’d lost the ability to see.
The leaves were clear.. I could see the detail of every car that passed by. I could see the ground clearly. I could notice the sunlight reflecting off of the palm trees ever-so-clearly. I could notice each individual leaf on the tree near by. I could even clearly read the signs inside the building and then some.
After that short burst of experience, I decided it was enough and walked back. He told me to keep them on as I walked back, and apparently, even my posture changed.
I’d personally say its because I can actually look at places and see details. I love details. I grew up obsessed with them.
I was only a smidge dizzy, but I feel like I adjusted fast enough.
The walk felt good, going back to the little examination room. It felt right. It felt… good.
I could see lights, and I wasn’t affected by light in any way.
I could go from dark to light without my eyes feeling like they’re on fire.
To be honest, I’m glad there are people who haven’t had this experience, but I want them to understand how such experiences work.
I mean, my boy has glasses, but they’re not a case like mine, or rather, his eyes aren’t very bad. He has problems, yes, but he can still function with sight, and often has to order things. I can’t read menus. That’s how bad my vision was. Especially looking upwards, because if I look down, I can see things better.
It feels so wrong, to know what real vision is like.
I mean… Wow. I never thought I’d actually know how bad my eyes actually are.
So bad, yet savable.
Everything looks like crap now, without that view.
I hope the glasses I picked are going to help me/are of my liking. I picked something with black frames, and I’m hoping that they are perfect for me. It’ll be a nightmare if they aren’t perfect. But, that’s where I have to simply hope.
Through the sample rack, I ended up picking smaller glasses over bigger ones, because the bigger one, although identical, the larger size made it feel more weird. I wanted to go for a look for myself that feels… I don’t know, generic? Typical? Something that’s ideally “me”, but identifiable with me and people “of my kind”. (bald, bearded, so on.)
As i type, I struggle to see, because it’s a white background with not even black text, and the fact that… I’m sad. I want to see again.
I have to wait, and be patient. I’ll test them out on the spot, and then my life will be completely different. I mean, wow.
I’m still speechless over the joy I felt when I could see and read.
I feel so happy, I’m expecting so much from such tiny things.
Honestly, how will this affect my writing, my typing, my drawing? How will this affect when I play games, watch TV, anime, movies, cartoons?
What will I see that I’ve never seen before?
I can honestly say that, the change is so big, so drastic, so different, that I can actually re-watch any show or look at any picture twice-over because of how clear my vision will be.
I just can’t wait.
I mean. I really, really just can’t wait. I want to jump up and down because I’m impatient.
Imagining my life in literally, 50 genuine shades. I can see more than I ever would be able to, and to me, that’s very important.
I mean… if that even affects my posture, because I actually enjoy looking at things to begin with, then… what have I been missing all my life? All this, in just so little time? What’s wrong with this household? They couldn’t do this for me before?
I’ve wanted and even had dreams of this.
I’m actually motivated to exercise even harder (not today, tired from journey.)
So that I may look good with those glasses. I mean, I actually felt fine with the frames I tried. The person I looked at didn’t feel like me, aside the fact I was still blind. That person I saw was (<- just noticed, look at it in reverse. English, you so funny) the future me.
Phew… I typed up a storm because of my joy and hype.
In 2 weeks (or less), I’ll be getting my glasses fresh from the same place.
After that, I get to begin a new life. The life that should’ve continued from a certain point.
Who would’ve thought a new lease on life could feel so… real?
Who knew it’s actually possible to have a new lease on life?
I feel like I’m dreaming and that I’m delusional.
I feel confused and conflicted. Is something going to go wrong? Will life be good after this? What’s the catch? I get it -now- of all times? Are they going to be defective? Is the price-tag too good to be true? Will I be struck by a car afterwards? Will something bad happen once I’ve attained actual joy?
The biggest moment of my life will be when I get glasses.
I’ve gone through two surgeries, and somehow, glasses take the cake on memorable moments in my life.
It’s not like I was cut open and bleeding for months, or anything.
B-b-baka. It’s n-not like that! It’s not like I wasn’t getting better or anything! Don’t look at me, stupid! Don’t misunderstand me, I didn’t want to become healthier or have my problems fixed!
I feel like I may even forget that I’ve been cut up, except my, uh. scrotum, while fine, is a little deformed… due to reasons. Eh, don’t get me wrong, I still look good, function, and everything’s still there, it’s just graphically, depending on how it’s seen, there is indeed, something off about it.
Ahem. Aside personal things being mentioned that no one actually finds interest in…
I think I’ll spend a moment to calm down and take it all in.
This is reality.
This is really happening.
I get to be a detail attentive whore.
I get to love looking at things.
People take their eyes for granted, I swear…
I never knew it was this bad, but I knew I had problems. I can’t wait. I just can’t wait!!!
What people may find petty and pathetic, it’s the world to someone like me….
And soon… I get to see that world. Years and years of blurriness, gone. Clarity…
I’ll finally have clarity. Something that many people have, but I’m not capable of that.
I’m technically defective because of my vision.
In the old world, I’d be easily hunted or killed, because I’d have poor vision. The sad part is, depending on the era, that may just be the natural order of things. In other cases, I’d probably be some tribe chief/key member or some crap, or so I’d hope.
To those with vision…
If you see someone with glasses…
Be glad you don’t need them.
Be glad you’ll never need to experience the conflicting yet pure joy I had.
Be glad you still function properly.
There’s a bit of sadness in that joy that I had, and that would be the above.
I’ll be living with glasses for the rest of my life, you know.
My whole life will -require- them.
If I have a child, I’ll need them to see that which is born.
My entire life will be dictated by needing these things to see.
I also need to spend more money to get them repaired, and to have new pairs.
On top of that, I also need to pay extra for my own body because I eat too much.
So, my life will be littered with fees on top of fees.
To those who are in need of, or will be getting them, or already have them, you should understand, because you also had that defining moment.
If you didn’t have that defining moment, you definitely had better eyes that didn’t warrant that joy. Especially if it ends up being similar to… “well, I need glasses, that like, sucks.”
But, well, yeah.
Most people get their eyes addressed before they apparently get to a point where it’s like my vision.
I had no idea that trees were more detailed than I’ve ever seen them… I still can’t help but find that amazing.
And you know what?
I might actually be a unique case because, I might always re-experience the amazing joys of glasses. Every time I take them off, every time I put them on. I’ll see the experience I haven’t had for years. A good 10 years now, I believe. I’ve been needing glasses for 10 whole years. That’s a huge portion of someone’s life.
All it took was the examination which was covered by insurance, but also only costs $63 or so, with the glasses themselves running about $98, discounts on the same day to $65.
The whole thing was said to take $129, so the glasses themselves are because of my eyes, which depresses me a little. It means the usual price-tag plus’d for these things.
I do feel a little broken though. I’m the same guy who gets joy from getting clothing for Christmas.
With that, what do I actually say?
Now then, the wait for my glasses to be crafted, begins.
The ironic part is, the place has been around officially, for 20 whole years. I grew up passing that place all the time, and now, I’ve finally gone into it. There was another family at the counter dealing with some things, it was nice to see someone else there.
They’ve been helping people for years, 20 whole years. One doctor in the title ended up retiring from what I’ve read on comments/reviews.
Ah… is there a way to skip through a week? Can i just.. sleep?